Can we want what we already have?! (The anatomy of cheating) — Sapore Di Mare
It’s not so new that Love and cheating in the world of it are the matters of obsession for our planet earth, and yes, mostly it’s us women, who go through the topics over and over again in our heads.
I know what you are thinking now, you are not the part of the 99,99% ratio of women, right? Is it because of your successful career or your enormous intelligence and confidence that kicks the hell out of men’s ass*s. Well, I am sure there have been times you wished you knew what his f**kin’ problem is and simply get the answer about all your questions. Try to google and find scientific research about “what do men want”, you’re not gonna get half the results as you will while googling “what do women want”, is it because men fooled the whole world and made it think their aspirations and wants are so easy to understand?! I wouldn’t totally agree on this one.
I generally don’t like stereotypes and clichés, or labels given to individuals, without even having their permission about it. Like in any other activities of life, in relationships we are all individuals, rather than the representative of any particular group with inflicted characteristics or particular sex who is always “the bad guy” in it.
One more thing you are thinking now is that world does not need another not so useful advice about “How to be a woman, all men want” or “How to make him marry you in less than 02:01 seconds”. You are not right! Kidding…. You are so right!
So, what if we stop wondering about what other people want and how to please their needs in relationship and start questioning our own actions, our wants and desires or aspirations.
Well, you know what they say: It’s not always about getting the answers, sometimes it’s just about asking the right questions. And if that’s true I am doing life so damn right; Carrie Bradshaw would be very proud of me, with all these questions in my head.
I have a confession to make: In my recent relationship, I sometimes caught myself fearing the boredom so much that I would even start fighting on the most unbelievably silly basis without realizing the main and actual reason of it, or I would stress out about it so much, fearing not to end up like the couple who does not talk over the dinner at the restaurants anymore and you just feel sad by looking at them, not believing they even enjoy the food they are eating, not to mention the company.
That was because I was and still am sure that boredom is the point where the groundwork for cheating is laid.
So, is it just our partner who is to be blamed in cheating ? or do we have to think twice about the occasion ?
Can cheating be actually prevented by several means and actions or is it inevitable at some point (I mean any form of cheating, not necessarily the one you have on mind right now)
Where is the fine line between being comfortable in a relationship and still craving your partner?
Think about it, when we buy new, perfect shoes we were dying to have, they don’t really fit at first do they ? you can clearly see all the flaws they have inside, but who cares, right?!, from the perspective of third party they look perfect and you can’t wait to show off, but just when you both (you and your new shoes) adjust to each other and learn how to make one another comfortable, baaaam! they don’t seem so overwhelming any more, although you respect and love them so much, you slowly start to loose the interest or affection you were experiencing towards them, but do you ever think about it, like really think about it, the reasons and solutions behind it?! Have you ever fallen in love with your old shoes all over again, while trying it with different and right outfit ?! So, maybe it’s not the shoes, maybe it’s you getting bored and need to change the circumstances or the environment rather then actually changing your beloved footwear.
I think the key is to think twice and question, question, question our actions (our concious) !
But, then again… Can we really want what we already have?!
XXX
A
Originally published at https://www.saporemare.com on January 25, 2017.